Madness.. Why do you torture me? I feel you all over my skin. In my soul. Who do you think you are telling me what to do and who to be? Like a jigsaw puzzle I fall apart and put myself back together to survive. Even when I am completely surrounded, my demons follow me, drive me to live and breathe the way I do.

I long to be.. I long to be so much in so little times. Sometimes I wonder if there is time for it all. But I know I will be..A friend of mine wants me to be..with him despite my convictions and commitments..an affair. These are elements that he presents to me on a daily basis with such vivid matter that there are times I am not sure how to respond… It’s almost like he is working through a delusional realm that binds us in insanity. It rattles me emotionally, physically, mentally. Nothing compares to an imagination of this caliber.

It’s insane I know. Like wanting to posses something that you can just tell that you will never be able to have. Your skin throbs, burns. Your mind wonders day and night about what is out there, what else can you do with yourself to not slowly go insane from longing.. I can tell this is a rage. A rage that makes me forget of my own heart, of days gone by.. Like a green chilli, hot but dreafully full of taste.

The both of them love me, but it seems like I want more. Why do I want more?..