All of this is yours free with a $60 order in my online store. But FIRST I need your email address so I can send you the secret coupon code! Offer ends soon, so don’t wait! Msg me with your email address!! Want more details? Stop by youravon.com/kareenburgos.
All of this is yours free with a $60 order in my online store. But FIRST I need your email address so I can send you the secret coupon code! Offer ends soon, so don’t wait! Msg me with your email address!! Want more details? Stop by youravon.com/kareenburgos.
What do you do when cancer invades the one you love? What do you do when it invades your lives, and your home?Tell me, what would you do? You know, when he looks at you and all you see is pain? When all you have are questions, but you can’t ask him because he’s too tired and overwhelmed to do anything because it either turns into an argument or doesn’t get done? When you go to the doctor and all they have is about three minutes to spit their plans out at you but you can’t really ask all the questions you have because it’s either overwhelming to the patient, they don’t have time or you need to hurry up and catch your bus so you can get home because it’s the only ride you have? How do you take care of them and not fall apart in the process?
When your best friend is sitting next to you and instead of feeling like you’re married, you feel like roommates, and as much as you love each other it hurts him when you touch him because the treatment seems to be too strong, or the pain medications don’t work enough to relieve his pain long enough to have a simple conversation even if it consists of just a bunch of of yes’s and no’s?
Every single day is different. I guess I should thank God or whatever deities are out there for that. That every day isn’t the same hell, you get some variety…. Aces!. One day you’re joking around, and you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt. The next day you’re both in the same room and you’re a thousand miles away without walking a single step away from each other. And no matter what you say or do, they still look at you with that loving, yet painfully blank stare in their pretty face.
The cancer center, as nice as they could ever be. They still make you wait in their blue room while only God know what is being done to your husband. The person you’re so used to having wrapped around you while you watch a movie, kiss every time you have to go different ways, the one who gets to flash a pretty wedding ring to proudly express your love towards each other is no longer wearing your ring while being taken away by some pretty, thin, little blonde doctor who stares at you with an icy stare , then says that you have to “wait here until we’re done” while putting their arm around him as they walk away from you without a care in the world while you notice that your husband is withering away. So you wait, in that little blue or green or whatever color room they send you to to stare at the walls while your mind races a million miles away in more directions that you ever imagined existed… because we all love involuntary solitary confinement.
So, I ask you, how do you handle walking around with a constant lump in your throat and a knife in your heart that you have to keep to yourself because it’s not the right time or place to deal with it? Well, you tell me, does that place exist? Do you ever get any relief? Is there anyone you can talk to that isn’t going to judge you because of your situation or give you a laundry list of things that”you must do to keep yourself together and be there for the patient because they come first”?. Or the constant having to walk around eggshells because you don’t want to burden anyone with your own feelings of anger and betrayal because the world has just fucked you over and there’s not a fucking thing you can do or say to change that. How do you handle the sense of betrayal you feel just when you think you have your crap together and everything is going well, and then BAM!!!, now your husband is a completely different person, your intimacy is gone, and so is your sense of security. Yes I’m bitter!!! We were happy!!!Somebody tell me… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO??? …What do you do when Superman is sick or when Iron Man dies?… Who makes your world safe then?…
Ok, here is my confession. I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend. Here is the thing, he is also my best friend, and we are both married..to other people. I guess I should explain myself. Here I go..
He and I have been friends for over 20 years, and we dated for over 4 years. I admit, I was the one to end things, and because of fear because other things were going on in life. For example, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancerm and I was feeling like I didn’t want to make him suffer through what I was suffering with the treatments. I was so sick, I never thought I would be able to come out of it alive in any sort of way. I am blessed to be walking on this earth today after everything that happened. At the same time that this was happening, my parents were breaking up after 25 years of marriage, and my mother was lying about seeing someone else and making me lie to my father about it.
So back to the future here. Now we are both married to other people, for several years now. We live across the country from each other, so we don’t really see each other but we have been out and about together , so we have time to talk and have some fun together. And yes, we have had the convesation where we have apologized to each other about things.
Here is the issue. he is married, and so am I. We have been married to other people for a few years. His wife is a very jealous woman and has never really let him keep in touch with his friends, and sometimes his family, unless she is there with him. There are even times that she gives his family grief about spending time with them. Unfortunately, that includes me, his best friend of 20 years. Well, about a week ago or so, I got bad news about my cancer. I found out that my condition is advancing and the first thing I thought of was that I needed to make sure that the people I love most were notified so that I could spend more time with them , even if it was on the phone. To me, it wasn’t a big deal to call my best friend, and coinsidently ex boyfiend and give him the news. And again, there was an issue with this. I didn’t have his current number. Fortunately enough, one of our mutual best friends works with him and he had the number. So, he was gracious enough to give it to me. Needless to say I called him, and told him the news. I guess that is when the trouble started.
Our mutual friend prepared him for the news during the day, so I was able to call him that day and give him the news. We talked for a total of five minutes, but to be honest, those five minutes were enough for things to take me back to where we left off relationship wise.. He apologized to me for not keeping in touch as much as he could and said that life had gotten in the way. I accepted it for the valid reason it is. Sad to say, I think that my heart took it further than my brain took it. To my heart, all the feelings that we had for each other came back. It was like we never broke up, and since that day a week and a half ago, I have not stopped thinking about him in the way that things used to be. Call me crazy , but it got me to realize that he is stronger than I though he was emotionally. Through the great vine, I found out that if the chance was there that he would come back to me. I love my husband, at the same time I can’t stop thinking about that. His wife got a hold of his work phone, and found out that he and I had talked. Come to find out, he had not told him that he had called me. Not quite sure why, but his business is his business. He has been on vacation since the last time we talked, so we have not talked since. Our friend told me that the reason he never called me back after I told him about my health because he didn’t know how to react to the news or what to say to me. It’s ok, he has always been the shy quiet type. However, I wonder what has happened since then..To be honest, I would be here if he ever wanted to take me back..Is that wrong?
Life Is Beautiful!!!!!!
High Gravity 