So yesterday I spent the entire morning on the phone with the office of our local Catholic priest trying to explain to the person on the other end of the phone that no, I do not want to bury my already cremated husband in the traditional way where I can’t just visit him anytime I need to. I have no idea why the concept of using his ashes combined with the earth to plant a tree seemed like a such an objectionable event. As I held my tears back and bit my tongue from telling him what I really thought of his objections it really made me think about how the universe does things. How one day you’re ordering way too much food from your favorite restaurant in the hopes that it will feed you for a few days because you can no longer cancel the order to hanging on to the last I love you that you heard from your loved ones lips.
The truth is, even as annoying as that phone call was, nothing compares to how I feel. The feeling of losing the one person you could always turn to regardless of how good or bad things were going throughout your day is priceless. And now I feell like someone has ripped out my entire soul and everything in it, leaving me without any stability.. I’d rather deal with the annoying phone calls….



