Its 3:30 in the morning and I am wide awake trying to think of what would calm my mind. I have no idea why, but things like what if come to mind. I know every one does it every once in a while, that hopefully does not tell me that I am strange. I often wonder what if life had turned out differently, especially in ocassions where my husband throws his temper. His German upbringing puts this in his psyche. He can blow up at a second’s notice for any particular reason. It embaresses the life out of me and I begin to question my decisions from here to the next fifty years. Should I have married someone else, or is this to teach me to deal with difficult tempers and people? Is this supposed to toughen me up for things to come? Or is he just plain difficult?